2009- Hard to believe it has begun. Of course I think this every year at this time and for some reason I am surprised at just how quickly a year has gone by. Perhaps it is because I am too aware of time. If I paid less attention to the amount of time and more attention to the quality of the time it might not bother me so much. Now, I don’t think that I am obsessed with the passing of time exactly, but I do tend to focus more on what I have missed, what I did not get done or what I think I should have accomplished. I have realized that this is less productive and prevents me from seeing the positive things in my life.
Friends often tell me how surprised they are at all the things I do, volunteer work at the theater, family, ministry, working 40 hours a week, tending to the house hold chores; reading, relaxing, gardening, and from time to time taking classes. I tend to shrug off the idea that I am doing much. I have to remember that it is often in the smallest things that a real impact can be made. Sure, I wish I could accomplish something that would make a big difference in the world-bring peace to the world; write the greatest novel that would impact generations to come but I don’t see that happening.
How did I get this idea that there is no meaning in the everyday, small choices? What is it that I am really looking for and why is it that I think I need to have more? Sometimes I think being a history major has gotten in my way. It is pretty egocentric to think that I could/should be leaving a mark on history in some way, or is it? Maybe it is the history of a individual that I will leave a mark on-my children, nephews and niece, perhaps someday even grandchildren.
I think I will be spending some time this year looking at this, contemplating my role in the lives of those around me and searching for meaning in all areas of my life. I might just be surprised at what I discover!
Friends often tell me how surprised they are at all the things I do, volunteer work at the theater, family, ministry, working 40 hours a week, tending to the house hold chores; reading, relaxing, gardening, and from time to time taking classes. I tend to shrug off the idea that I am doing much. I have to remember that it is often in the smallest things that a real impact can be made. Sure, I wish I could accomplish something that would make a big difference in the world-bring peace to the world; write the greatest novel that would impact generations to come but I don’t see that happening.
How did I get this idea that there is no meaning in the everyday, small choices? What is it that I am really looking for and why is it that I think I need to have more? Sometimes I think being a history major has gotten in my way. It is pretty egocentric to think that I could/should be leaving a mark on history in some way, or is it? Maybe it is the history of a individual that I will leave a mark on-my children, nephews and niece, perhaps someday even grandchildren.
I think I will be spending some time this year looking at this, contemplating my role in the lives of those around me and searching for meaning in all areas of my life. I might just be surprised at what I discover!
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